55 days until graduation.
133 days until Freshman Orientation.
It feels strange to have a date. The light at the end of the tunnel was fuzzy for the longest time, a vague hope that kept me moving. Now it's sharp, so bright my eyes can't adjust to the light. I have to look away, but it floods my vision and everything I do is clouded by the light.
Everything is on hold. There is no point in beginnings anymore, because what good is a beginning if you can already see the end? I have 4 years, 4 years that start in 133 days, to become the kind of person I want to be. That at least is still a vague outline, even fuzzier considering recent events. I will create, I will be, but I will not imitate. Perhaps bits and pieces, but I no longer want to be an immitation of... whatever.